My books

Friday, October 10, 2014

Delete schmelete

As a writer, obviously I spend my time writing. I know I know who have thunk it, but I do. However, a lot of the words end up changed, or deleted. I've removed whole chapters from the books I write. Sure I liked the words I wrote and the scene I created but sadly, sometimes a part just no longer works with the story and you have to delete. So I'm calling this Delete Friday and showing you some of the gems (and not so gemmy) stuff I've deleted.

This was a scene from In Death's Touch that was deleted because it didn't make a darn bit of sense.

“Get in the car,” he said. 
“No,” I said crossing my arms and keeping my feet planted on the sidewalk. “There’s no way in hell I’m going anywhere with you, let alone spending another fucking second with you. you lying, kidnapping sack of—”
“If you don’t get in the car, I cannot guarantee your safety or your boy—”Devin kept staring and smiling at all the faces coming and going from the store and dropped his voice, “—his safety.”
He unlocked the car and got in. I remained firmly planted on the sidewalk. Like I could trust a word out of his mouth. He drugged me for crying out loud. Devin glared at me through the windshield and started the car. 
If nothing else, I at least needed to find out what the hell was going on. I didn’t give a shit about his side of the story but I needed to know everything before I could figure out my next move. With a reluctant hand I opened the passenger door and got in.  
Devin maneuvered the (Lincoln) out of the parking lot into the flow of oncoming traffic. “Look, I didn’t do this to spite you, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Fuck, I don’t know talk to me maybe, tell me how you feel. Anything is better than kidnapping someone. Tell me how. What in the world did you give me to erase my mind?”
“A form of Metyrapone that’s been altered, so instead of making you forget bad memories it makes you forget all memories. I only gave you enough to forget Callum and nothing more.”
“Oh, well then I’m grateful.”
“You gave me no choice.”
“Oh, so this is my fault?” I tried to remain calm but the pitch in my voice escalated as the weight of the last few days came over me. I’d made out with Devin, their were pictures of it all over the pages of more than a few big tabloids. “Dammit! How could you do this to me? This is way worse than lying.”
“Lend I’m—”
“Don’t call me that, only my friends call me that and you are not my friend, you’re nothing to me.”
Devin mouth’s quivered, but he didn’t respond or let on that my words hurt. When he came to a stop at a red light, I debated jumping out, but Devin gave me a pre-emptive, “Don’t bother, the child safety is up on your side.”
Great I was trapped. I should have trusted my gut when it told me to run back at the hotel, and now it was too late. “Please Devin, if you ever felt anything for me, don’t do this, drop me off here and I won’t say a word.”
He pulled to a stop at the light and turned to look at me, “I’m not doing this to hurt you, I’m doing this because it’s the only way I know how to save you.”
That sounded like a line from one of his cheesy rom-coms. This had nothing to do with me, he didn’t give a shit about me, this had to do with Callum. Apparently, Callum’s hate for Devin was reciprocated. This was Devin pounding his chest and trying to maintain the alpha-male role. 
“Do you even have a plan? or was getting me away from Callum as far ahead as you thought?”
“I’m taking you to my uncle, a man who will help to debug you.”
“Oh my god I haven’t been brainwashed.”
“How else do you explain sticking around leeches.”
“The same fucking way I explain ever being with you.” My head dropped against the car window. I tapped my foot, my wedges could easily break the glass. But I’d have to be fast. My fingers tapped against the armrest, maybe at the next stoplight. 
“Lendyn you don’t understand, I didn’t have a choice.”
“We all have choices.”
He shook his head, “I didn’t.”
“Okay, tell me, please what possibly made you think kidnapping and drugging me was better than leaving me the hell alone.”
“I can’t, but you have to trust me, I didn’t want this.”
“Whatever, I’ll never trust you again.”
The next light stayed green, and so did the one after that. We didn’t get another red light. It’s as if the fates were conspiring to keep me stuck in the car with the detestable Devin. Three more lights and then we were headed out of whatever city we were in and rolling through the countryside. My second chance at escape was gone, and Devin was going way to fast for me to risk jumping from a moving vehicle. 
In what deluded world did Devin think what he was doing was the right answer, the only answer.
“Where are we headed?” 
“To see my uncle.”

“Who’s your uncle?”

I'm still cringing.


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